Hola 👋🏻
What does good look like to you, *personally*? I want you to hold that thought for me and let bubble away in your noggin, I’m coming back to it later.
Let’s go on a journey
In the Goonies, there’s a scene where they find themselves at the bottom of the old mosguard wishing well. They thought they’d found the jackpot, until Andy stops them and says “these are somebody else’s wishes, somebody else’s dreams” and Mouth responds by holding up a coin and proclaiming “well this was my wish, my dream and it didn’t come true, so I’m taking it back, I’m taking them all back.”
To me, social media is like that. A wishing well of other people’s dreams.
I’ve had a dream since 2018 of creating a sustainable business. The reason was simple, I make an absolutely shite employee (I get fired a lot), and the boom / bust cycle of contracting is burning me out.
Earlier this year I realised that I kept doing the same kind of things over and over again, expecting a different outcome. Which, yes, is definitely a high way to insanity, don’t recommend.
I’ve tried doing things the way people tell you to, but they don’t work for me.
Breaking up with goals
Which is why I’ve decided to break up with goals. It’s not them, it’s me.
A goal is a mountain to climb that I don’t have the energy or equipment to climb.
I’m not gonna lie and say it’s been easy to break up with goals, it’s been quite sad. But equally, the way I’ve looked at it is like looking at those stunning holiday destinations that flood social media feeds, they aren’t the kinds of holidays I enjoy anyway.
I love the journey being a part of the destination. I love taking the train to Paris, not because it avoids the hell of airports, but because I like watching the scenery whoosh past. I like being down at ground level seeing the world unfold. I get my love of train travel from my dad, although not *quite* to the degree that he loved trains.
So what if I created something that didn’t focus on big fat end goals. What if I created something that was more organic and true to who I am and the way I’ve always been? (even if I’ve resolutely refused to listen to what my strengths are half the time).
Which is largely where things like thin slicing came from. I’ve been so utterly frustrated working for organisations that have The Way™ of doing things. Usually their way is a mess of “we’ve always done it that way” (aka doomed to failure but have an inability to see why it fails). Yet my beautifully logical brain can see why things fail and a better way of doing them. Thin slicing makes sense to me because I know it works, it’s how I’ve built my skills and specialisms in the last 26 years.
Intermission
Before we get onto the good bits, I’m bringing back the old school intermission. If you’re as old as I am, you’ll remember going to the cinema meant a pause in the film (while they changed the reel) and the ice-cream lady came out. I don’t have ice-cream, sadly, but I do have an invite for you to subscribe (if you aren’t already) or recommending this to someone else, so you too can be in the room where it happens each week.
The Good Fours
It’s also why I’ve been working on developing the Good Fours.
So the Good Fours started out as “What does good look like” which, let’s be honest dear reader, doesn’t roll off the tongue.
The Good Fours popped into my head on Wednesday, while I was plotting out what the Unperfect Product Method looks like. I love it when a label appears fully formed after percolating in my brain for a while.
I’ve been talking about the Good Fours to people over the last few months, and do you know what, I genuinely love it. It’s so simple and yet so elegant.
Have you noticed a lot of the business advice, coaching or whatever that’s out there focuses on the business you’re trying to build and who you’re building it for, but very little of it acknowledges you and your relationship to the business.
So I thought, let’s put you in the centre of this. Not in a narcissistic “you’re the centre of the universe” kind of way. But in a way that asks “are you comfortable with what you say you want to do” kind of way. Are you building someone else’s wish, or someone else’s dream? Or are you building your own?
I’ve started asking people what good looks like for them when I talk to them for research or networking. And do you know what, not one of them has said “6 figures and working from a beach.” They’ve said things like more time with their family, not having to work 80 hour weeks. It’s been interesting and lovely to see.
To create something that’s centred around what good looks like, is where we step away from perfection being the absolute goal of everything. Perfectionism is a paradox, because if everything is perfect, then actually, nothing is.
Yet, if we understand intimately what good looks like, when something perfect happens, it’s a lot sweeter because it really stands out.
As you might have worked out, what does good look like for you is only one part of the Good Fours (the hint is in the title).
We start with what good looks like for you personally. If you don’t look after yourself, anything you try to create is going to suffer (I speak from experience, I haven’t been looking after myself so everything suffers). So the first Good Four is Personal.
The second, is Product. A product is the way you make your money. So that is as literal as a product you sell, your services or a physical product. Or it could be your career. After all, your career is a product of all your skills and experience.
The third is Parish. Your parish aren’t just the people who give you money for your product. Your parish includes people who support you in some way, that could be your family if you’re lucky enough to have one, it could be your friends, and it can be your supply chain.
So the first three Good Fours look like:
- Personal
- Product
- Parish
The final of the Good Fours is a little bit of a twist as it’s place in time. It’s about looking at what good looks like for you now, next and later.
I’ve used the concept of now, next and later a lot in the last few years when it comes to helping plan strategic work packages. It’s a great way of relating urgency, importance and achievability to something.
In the last week or so I’ve been talking with people about how I use place in time. I hadn’t realised that the approach I take is to keep each part small and achievable. What’s the point in having a big to do list of stuff if you know damn well it’s less a to-do list and more a humble brag of how busy you are? If you aim small and over achieve, it’s far more rewarding.
It looks a little something like this. 👇🏻
Looks simple, but that’s the point. OK, so answering what does good look like for your product and parish can be challenging, but that’s where my skills come in. Helping people to answer them allows me to tap into my skills. Also, each square is a thin slice of knowledge.
Which brings me back to what does good look like, for you? If I were to ask you to simply list three things that would make tomorrow a good day for you, what would they be? They must not be conditional on someone else’s happiness or their whims, it’s about what you have total control over making something good for you. Why not share them in the threads, I’d love to hear what they are.
Have an awesome weekend.
Emma
